I’m a big fan of Cary Tennis who writes the Since You Asked advice column from Salon.com. His prose is excellent and his advice is insightful bordering on spiritual sometimes. Today a reader asked him why his ex-girlfriend called him defensive since he thought he was only “standing his ground”. Cary hit the nail right on the head when he said that it wasn’t about why he did something, was about what and why she felt it.
Sometimes you just don’t need to explain why you did something. Just deal with the feelings. Why is that so hard for some people to actually do? Being right all of the time might allow you to win all of the battles, but you might just end up losing the war.
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